Sinister Missives

In 1988 I was 20, a sophomore in college in Dallas, TX, obsessed with vampires (thanks to Anne Rice and The Lost Boys) and still very new to gothic/industrial culture (which was itself pretty new, all things considered). I occasionally pine for those times. Being young and beautiful forever seemed like a realistic goal; custom fangs and an enthusiastic vampiric subculture made it moreso. It’s easy to point and laugh now, but at the time, we were all suckered in by the glamour.

In 1998 I was 30, driving from Syracuse, NY to Chicago, IL with everything I owned in the back of a couple of trucks - literally on my 30th birthday. I was still vampire-obsessed (although it was blossoming into a more all-horror-inclusive mindset), worked for Corporate Masters, and the internet was more of a curiosity and novelty than anything else. I was also twice-divorced and very jaded.

It’s 2008 and it’s my 40th birthday today. I just moved from Chicago a bit east to a small town in Indiana, where my mortgage payment is less than 1/2 of what I paid in rent in Chicago. I own a horror/Halloween/haunted house cottage industry and still think vampires are cool, but have opened my heart to zombies as well.

I have survived, either inflicted on myself or my spouse: Foreclosure, bankruptcy, stitches, broken bones, cancer, tumors, death, disease and unemployment.

I have enjoyed an amazing wife, beautiful children, The Sweetest Dog Ever, a successful homegrown business, great clients and good friends.

I spend my days creating spooky imagery for haunted houses and other horror/Halloween businesses. I offer up thanks EVERY DAY for that. If you had told me in 1978 that this is what my job would be, 10-year-old Chad would have been overjoyed, since drawing and designing spooky stuff is all I’ve ever wanted to do.

So bring it on, Life. You don’t scare me, and I figure if medical science continues the way it’s been going for the last 50 years, I’m only about 1/3 done on this planet. I intend to wind up as a Futurama-style head in a jar, dispensing wisdom to them what’ll listen in 1000 years.

On that note, my tombstone will read:

HERE! IN THIS GRAVE! THAT GUY I WAS!

Come help me celebrate my 40th this weekend at METAL-MERGENCE 2 : Networking event for the Heavy Metal Industry. Open to metal fans & pros! Saturday, July 12. The Double Door, 1572 N. Milwaukee Ave, Chicago. Doors open 8pm. Show 9pm. $10 admission, 21+. Live metal, CD artists, label reps, DJ showcase & more! Join us for a night of heavy music & connecting at the legendary Double Door in the heart of Chicago! Live Performances by: CYANOTIC, MINDWARP CHAMBER, JUNGLE ROT, SMOKE

BUY TICKETS (TICKETMASTER)

The move is complete and the Savage Clan are settling into our new house near South Bend, Indiana (90 miles east of Chicago, home of Notre Dame University). I know I owe a lot of people calls and emails, and I’m working on that - everybody’s patience is greatly appreciated. I’m typing this in my spacious new office, surrounded by boxes. Stay tuned…

Getting ready for the Midwest Haunters Convention and will be AFK ’til Friday. If you need to reach me, call me.

Craziest damned thing ever - wasp larvae in Brazil feed on caterpillar’s fluids, then turn it into a zombie bodyguard - check out an editorialized take on this at ECTOPLASMOSIS! » The Horror Of Nature: Zombie Caterpillar Bodyguards or get the full scoop at ScienceDaily.com

I can’t remember where I read about it, but I just tried out http://www.vectormagic.com for the first time and was thoroughly impressed. A client sent a not-so-great, not-very-high-resolution JPG image that they wanted me to use. I ran it through the Vector Magic site and got an astonishingly clean, scalable piece of EPS art to use. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, this post isn’t for you; if you do, you recognize the value and the recommendation.

Just saw an ad that Monday’s American Gladiators will have a big Incredible Hulk crossover. This will not make American Gladiators more credible or manly; this can only make Incredible Hulk more gay.

Twitter.com, 8:30 p.m. CST:

Twitter is currently down for We are quickly fixing some discrepancies across our webserves. Coming right back!.

That’s verbatim.

Band names extracted from Last Comic Standing tonight: Gerbilburger and Turkey Cupcake

When fate conspires to keep you up all night working to the extent that your 5-year-old greets you in the early morning with sleepy eyes, and you have the opportunity to get her a bowl of Trix and introduce her to your 22-year-old VHS copy of Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, I suggest you sit with her that extra few minutes (instead of going to bed) and watch the Breakfast Machine Scene, making the appropriate OOO and AAH sounds. You won’t regret it, and neither will she.

The painting - She is finished: